Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Chaos at CUN

We were once delayed at the Cancun airport by a full figured lady whose under-wire supporting garment had activated the warning buzzer on the metal detector portal.   Our line at CUN paused to observe the 3 minute spectacle.  

The Mexican TSA agent repeatedly waved the wand back and forth across her chest, beep, beeeeep, beeeeeeeeeeep, alternating over her boobs, in turn.
"Its my bra." she whispered to the agent.
"It's an underwire."
Beeeeeeep, beep.  
She was pronouncing the word very carefully as to make herself better understood.
Beep, Beep.  The screener looked slightly puzzled.
"Want me to take off my shirt?" Her frustration grew as did the volume of her speech.
Beeep, beeep, chirp, beep. 
A little louder now, "I'll do it, swear to god!"  

Suddenly she crossed her arms low and grabbed the bottom of her Senor Frog Bar tee.  She thought better of it and changed her tactics midstream.   We stood transfixed behind the line ropes while the traveler did the bra off thing under her shirt.  She quickly flipped the hooks in the back, drove her hand under each sleeve and reached up under the front of her tee shirt for a grand finale.  Swoosh.     

"See?" She said, raising her arms aloft displaying the expensive, white, industrial strength, metal filled, Cross Your Heart, 4 hook, padded strap, Maidenform bra high above her head and rotated 360° to give us all a full frontal view of both the doomed garment and her double D bosoms straining against the cotton tee shirt.  
"Everybody see?" 

And to the Mexican TSA lady who by now was standing by sheepishly,  "Now are you happy?"   
Yup, everybody was smiling and we all seemed very happy.   The offending metal brassiere was unceremoniously deposited in the waste receptacle, the black electronic wand passed silently over her boobs, she passed through the metal detector without an  audible incident and we all walked off merrily toward our respective gates.